NEW (3): Access Portable Toilets, Inc., Potty Gurl, Waste Services

Port City. We came rolling in pretty late on the ole Silver Meteor and it was impossible to get a ride into town. The sky was dumping rain and it doesn't help that this city is so sprawled out either. If you built a replica of their metropolitan statistical area in SimCity, I'm guessing the game over screen would appear immediately. I don't really remember how that game is played, however.

We finally made it to our hotel. It's pretty nice for what we had to throw down. Don't sleep on that T-Mobile travel discount, baybeeee. The neighborhood seems rather lively for a weekday, and we find a posh little cocktail joint and start chatting up the locals for the deets on what to check out. After throwing down some idiosyncratic cocktails, we come across our first new brand [Access Portable Toilets, Inc.] in a dimly lit parking lot on our way back for the night. I'm unable to properly document it until the morning.

Now I always knew this town was a legend in the cuisine game, but I had no idea how hard it is to actually find somewhere to eat. Every decent restaurant there's a wait, or a list booked a month in advance, or a wait to get on a list, and then you wait some more. Even the casual eateries had queues like a two Michelin star operation. My girl and I both love seafood, so we heard 167 Raw was a must. Walk-ins only, and it was a mere hour forty-five minutes of wait. No problem, we went on a hunt and were met with great success again finding, [Potty Gurl], a division of Trash Gurl known in the area for their bright purple dumpsters, and now offering porta potties.

We got the call to head back to 167 Raw, and man I never really say this, but it was absolutely worth the long hang time. The food was fantastic. We went hog wild. Red snapper ceviche, a daily crudo, fried oysters, tuna tataki, grilled fish tacos and a dozen raw oysters with a salsa verde accoutrement that was like nothing I've ever shoveled on shellfish before.

The next morning, I went searching for a local coffee roaster, and came back with a bacon jam bfast sammy and [Waste Services], the third and final new brand of the trip. Not a super memorable name, but the yellow, green and black color scheme played.

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NEW (2): A-OK Portables, Tony's Jons Incorporated
REDISCOVERED (3): OnSite Solutions, Blu Site Solutions, United Site Services

The Hostess City of the South. What a town. What a town. This was my second time here, and I'll gladly make a third, fourth and fifth visit anytime. Upon arrival, even outside the train station felt like a mini celebration. Some folks were getting after it, paper bagged brews in hand. Bluetooth stereo blaring tunes. This is my kinda energy.

After checking in, we headed down to the river. You know how most major cities have mad building construction right now? Well, here you've got that, but it takes a back seat compared to the steep and sloping street construction. I took that as a good sign as I've never heard of crap rolling uphill.

Our first spotting was again an [OnSite Solutions]. Lawd, I hope this doesn't become a trend. We hit a hole in the wall for some 2 for 1 yingers in plastic cups for 3 clams, and were off to Sorry Charlie's for my birthday dindin. Host said an hour wait, so we hit the streets once more, and on the other side of the building found a 20' x 20' fencing block covered with a privacy screen. I moved a few sandbags almost as if I'm unwrapping a gift to see what's inside, and a new brand [A-OK Portables] slaps a smile on my face. She looked like she had some years on-er, but she was pretty as a peach that night.

Dinner was outta sight. Chef's selection of local oysters, jumbo shrimp cocktail, sesame crusted seared tuna, NY strip and the stars of the show were both crustacean centered: a tomato based blue crab chowder & a bacon and blue crab potato hash. Forget about it.

We closed the night by hitting a few dives. They were loose. Rowdy as hell. It was as if covid was a myth between the four walls to these people. Grinding on top of the bar, uninhibited bottle pulls, dope vape pens being passed around. Not a N95 in sight. We raised a few glasses to our health.

Wednesday morning. We marched the other way down the river, and almost immediately I spotted some construction. I approached a group of hard hats on their coffee break, bull shitting around a familiar [Blu Site Solutions] unit. The first BSS we documented was actually in South Florida, so I asked the boys if I could snap a quick one and we were audi. Further along the river's edge, we spotted yet another [United Site Services]. Kurwa mac.

We walked. We drank. We ate. Lather, rinse, repeat. Pink House lived up to the hype. The fried green tomatoes were claude monet. Our 24 hours in GA were up, so we hopped a ride back to the train station, but on the way I spotted [Tony's Jons Incorporated]. Sa-weet another new brand on the backside of our final minutes in the Peach State. I had the driver pull over for a super quick shot. He seemed very confused, but was cool with it.

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NEW (1): Floaters Portable Sanitation
MISSED (1): McClendon's
REDISCOVERED (2): United Site Services, OnSite Solutions

Ah, Florida. My favorite state of our 50. Lord willing, if I make it to old age, I'll meet my maker somewhere in the Sunshine State. I was so pumped to check out said state's capital for my first time, and I'm not saying it was a let down, but to be honest, I'm not itchin' to buy a wood-framed cracker on a Jax canal anytime soon. Having said that, we still had the time of our lives (for 24 hours).

The fun started even at the airport. Like a kid I was chasing brown anoles around, trying to pick one up, but they're tricky little dactyloidaes. After an uber ride to our hotel in an extended cab F-250 covered with bullheaded bureaucratic bumper stickers, we dropped off our bags, and found our first new brand [Floaters Sanitation Service] within 15 minutes of being here. Damn, exciting stuff.

Next, we hoofed it across the John T. Alsop Jr Bridge. What a gem. The color, a unique celeste sky blue. Our next destination across? The historic district of Springfield to hit a few local breweries and pick up some Krystals, because when I'm in Krystal Kountry, I can't say no to those little square pieces of heaven. After a few high abv elbow benders and a spirited dissection of the Jason Isbell years with Drive-By Truckers at the Bold City Brewery, we're back hitting the bricks only to spot a toilet a block up next to a gigantic pile of grade 8 limestone. I run ahead, but to my disappointment, it's the mirage of the porta potty world, a [United Site Services]. USS can be found in almost every state, and it's always a let down when you're in a new locale and are jazzed thinking it might be an unfamiliar brand. Oh well, off to the next joint, Strings Sports Brewery.

Well, one soda led to another, and before we knew it, we realized we still haven't eaten. We duck out to find the Krystals, and just our luck, the dining room was closed. We casually walked into the drive thru, and after some heavy boasting of my love for their processed meat products, and hailing from the land where White Castle rules the roost, they agreed to break the rules and accommodate us without being in a vehicle. Time to chow balls on a bumper in the parking lot. This is what it's all about.

The walk back was a little fuzzy with the help of some evan williams nips and a my father le bijou to the dome, but I thought the occasion called for it since it was birthday at midnight. Before we make it back, we spot another [Floaters Sanitation Service] respite and a second potty the project already had documented, the popular [OnSite Solutions]. We have to wait and see what tomorrow will bring.

Tuesday morning. Rain was falling. Head was bumping. Three excedrins and an uber ride takes us to Metro Diner for their famous bfast for lunch. Two over easy eggs, bacon, hash browns, short stack and a side of fried chicken. At least three of the patrons are rocking side arms on their waists. Huh. One of the dudes was at least six foot five. Pants up to damn near his nips, six shooter on his hip. Ah, Florida.

Well, we took our sweet time getting out of bed so now we have to catch a ride to the Amtrak station. On the way I spot a new brand which I knew was in the area from my research [McClendon's], but alas it's behind an unclimbable fence and our driver is hauling ace. That always hurts, but let's hope Savannah treats me a hair better. 

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