Jacksonville, FL

NEW (1): Floaters Portable Sanitation
MISSED (1): McClendon's
REDISCOVERED (2): United Site Services, OnSite Solutions

Ah, Florida. My favorite state of our 50. Lord willing, if I make it to old age, I'll meet my maker somewhere in the Sunshine State. I was so pumped to check out said state's capital for my first time, and I'm not saying it was a let down, but to be honest, I'm not itchin' to buy a wood-framed cracker on a Jax canal anytime soon. Having said that, we still had the time of our lives (for 24 hours).

The fun started even at the airport. Like a kid I was chasing brown anoles around, trying to pick one up, but they're tricky little dactyloidaes. After an uber ride to our hotel in an extended cab F-250 covered with bullheaded bureaucratic bumper stickers, we dropped off our bags, and found our first new brand [Floaters Sanitation Service] within 15 minutes of being here. Damn, exciting stuff.

Next, we hoofed it across the John T. Alsop Jr Bridge. What a gem. The color, a unique celeste sky blue. Our next destination across? The historic district of Springfield to hit a few local breweries and pick up some Krystals, because when I'm in Krystal Kountry, I can't say no to those little square pieces of heaven. After a few high abv elbow benders and a spirited dissection of the Jason Isbell years with Drive-By Truckers at the Bold City Brewery, we're back hitting the bricks only to spot a toilet a block up next to a gigantic pile of grade 8 limestone. I run ahead, but to my disappointment, it's the mirage of the porta potty world, a [United Site Services]. USS can be found in almost every state, and it's always a let down when you're in a new locale and are jazzed thinking it might be an unfamiliar brand. Oh well, off to the next joint, Strings Sports Brewery.

Well, one soda led to another, and before we knew it, we realized we still haven't eaten. We duck out to find the Krystals, and just our luck, the dining room was closed. We casually walked into the drive thru, and after some heavy boasting of my love for their processed meat products, and hailing from the land where White Castle rules the roost, they agreed to break the rules and accommodate us without being in a vehicle. Time to chow balls on a bumper in the parking lot. This is what it's all about.

The walk back was a little fuzzy with the help of some evan williams nips and a my father le bijou to the dome, but I thought the occasion called for it since it was birthday at midnight. Before we make it back, we spot another [Floaters Sanitation Service] respite and a second potty the project already had documented, the popular [OnSite Solutions]. We have to wait and see what tomorrow will bring.

Tuesday morning. Rain was falling. Head was bumping. Three excedrins and an uber ride takes us to Metro Diner for their famous bfast for lunch. Two over easy eggs, bacon, hash browns, short stack and a side of fried chicken. At least three of the patrons are rocking side arms on their waists. Huh. One of the dudes was at least six foot five. Pants up to damn near his nips, six shooter on his hip. Ah, Florida.

Well, we took our sweet time getting out of bed so now we have to catch a ride to the Amtrak station. On the way I spot a new brand which I knew was in the area from my research [McClendon's], but alas it's behind an unclimbable fence and our driver is hauling ace. That always hurts, but let's hope Savannah treats me a hair better. 

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